The Lost Art of Active Listening — and How to Get Better at It

The power of attentive listening: A close-up of an ear symbolizes the transformative impact of truly hearing and understanding one another.

In a world that never stops talking, listening has become a rare skill. We’re bombarded by pings, alerts, and endless streams of content - yet real human connection still hinges on one simple, often neglected act: listening.

What Is Active Listening?

Active listening is more than just hearing words. It’s the conscious effort to understand the full meaning behind what someone is saying - their message, emotion, and intent. It involves focusing completely on the speaker, suspending judgment, and responding thoughtfully rather than reactively.

It’s been said, real listening is one of the most potent forces for change.

In essence, active listening is about being present - giving your full attention and showing that you value the other person’s perspective.

How Bad Are We at Listening?

Research consistently shows that most of us overestimate our ability to listen. A study by Accenture found that 96% of people think they are good listeners - yet only 25% of people actually demonstrate effective listening skills.

Other studies reveal just how fleeting our attention can be:

• The average person retains only about 25% to 50% of what they hear in a conversation (University of Minnesota).

• 75% of communication breakdowns in business come down to poor listening (Forbes).

• In workplace surveys, employees frequently cite “not feeling heard” as one of the biggest barriers to engagement and productivity.

In short, most of us are hearing - but not truly listening.

Why Active Listening Matters

Active listening isn’t just a “soft skill.” It’s a cornerstone of effective communication, leadership, and emotional intelligence. When practiced consistently, it can:

• Build trust and rapport - showing others they are valued and respected.

• Reduce conflict - by helping people feel heard and understood, even when you disagree.

• Improve collaboration and problem-solving - as better listening leads to clearer understanding and fewer mistakes.

• Boost learning and empathy - enabling deeper insight into other people’s experiences and perspectives.

• In leadership, coaching, and client-facing roles, active listening can be the difference between misunderstanding and meaningful connection.

How to Practice Active Listening

Like any skill, active listening improves with intention and practice. Here are proven techniques:

• Give your full attention. Put away distractions. Make eye contact. Signal that you’re fully engaged.

• Listen to understand, not to reply. Resist the urge to jump in or plan your next comment. Stay curious about what the speaker truly means.

• Reflect and paraphrase. Use phrases like “So what I’m hearing is…” or “It sounds like you’re saying…” to confirm understanding.

• Ask open-ended questions. Encourage the speaker to elaborate: “Can you tell me more about that?” or “How did that make you feel?”

• Notice non-verbal cues. Pay attention to tone, body language, and emotion - they often reveal more than words do.

• Avoid interrupting. Silence can be powerful. Give space for the speaker to think and finish their thoughts.

• Respond thoughtfully. When you do reply, keep it relevant and empathetic. Show that you’ve truly processed what’s been said.

The Takeaway

In an age of constant noise, active listening is a quiet superpower. Whether in business meetings, family conversations, or friendships, it’s the key to empathy, understanding, and trust.

The truth is, most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. Perhaps it’s time we started doing the opposite.