Overcoming FOMU: Helping Leaders Show Up Powerfully in Public Speaking

The stage is set for an executive to speak publicly

In my work with senior professionals and executives, I see a consistent pattern: individuals who are articulate, insightful, and confident in smaller or internal settings that suddenly become guarded, tense, wooden or almost frozen like a rabbit caught in a set of headlights  when stepping onto a public stage.

It’s not a lack of capability. It’s something else.

I call it FOMU (Fear of Messing Up).

That quiet but powerful internal voice that says:

“What if I lose my train of thought?”

“What if I say something wrong?”

“What if people judge me?”

And ironically, it’s this very fear that creates the outcome they’re trying to avoid.

Why FOMU Happens

For many senior professionals and business leaders, the stakes feel higher in public:

• Greater visibility

• Perceived reputational risk

• Less control over the environment

• A more critical (or unknown) audience

In private, they speak naturally. In public, they try to perform. That shift from authentic communication to controlled performance is where FOMU thrives.

The Cost of FOMU

When leaders operate from fear:

• Their message becomes over-rehearsed and less engaging

• Their personality disappears

• They avoid opportunities to speak altogether

• Their influence is diminished

In short, if they do show up, they are a diluted version of themself.

How to Overcome FOMU

The goal isn’t to eliminate nerves completely- in many respects, nerves managed correctly can help elevate public speaking - the key is to change your relationship with them. Here are practical strategies that work.

1. Reframe the Objective: From Perfection to Connection

Public speaking isn’t about delivering a flawless performance. It’s about creating impact.

Shift your focus from:

“I must not mess up”

to

“I want my audience to understand and engage with this idea”

When your attention moves outward, FOMU loses its grip.

2. Redefine “Messing Up”

Most audiences don’t notice - or care about - minor mistakes. In fact, small imperfections often make speakers more relatable.

Instead of viewing mistakes as failure, treat them as:

• Natural

• Recoverable

• Humanising

A pause, a stumble, or a rephrased sentence does not undermine your credibility - unless you signal that it does.

3. Practice Being Unscripted

Many leaders over-prepare in a way that increases pressure.

Scripts are a useful starting point but rather than try to memorise them word-for-word:

• Practice key ideas, not exact phrasing

• Rehearse explaining your message in different ways

• Simulate real speaking conditions

This builds flexibility and reduces the fear of going “off script.”

4. Build Recovery Skills

Confidence doesn’t come from knowing you won’t make mistakes. It comes from knowing you can recover when you do.

Try this:

• Intentionally pause mid-sentence during practice and restart

• Practice summarising your point if you lose your place

• Use simple phrases like: “Let me rephrase that…” or “The key point here is…”

Knowing you can recover quickly weakens FOMU significantly.

5. Shift Your Inner Dialogue

FOMU is fuelled by self-critical thinking.

Replace:

“Don’t mess this up”

with

“I know this material, and I can handle whatever happens”

Your internal language shapes your external presence more than you think.

6. Normalise Nerves

Even highly experienced speakers feel nervous. The difference is how they interpret it.

Instead of viewing nerves as a warning sign, see them as:

• Energy

• Readiness

• A sign that what you’re doing matters

This subtle shift reduces resistance and builds composure.

7. Reconnect with Your Natural Speaking Style

Think about how you communicate in a one-to-one conversation:

• You’re responsive

• You’re present

• You’re yourself

• You're engaging

Bring that same mindset to public speaking. The audience doesn’t need a “perfect speaker” - they need you, at your best.

Final Thought

FOMU doesn’t disappear overnight. But with the right mindset, deliberate practice and coaching (please get in touch if you'd like my help), it becomes manageable- and eventually, it fades into the background.

The leaders who truly stand out aren’t the ones who never make mistakes. They’re the ones who speak with clarity, authenticity, and presence - even when things aren’t perfect.

Because in the end, effective public speaking isn’t about avoiding mistakes. It’s about making your message matter.